My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
