wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
