Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize