my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
