it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
