I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
