Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
