now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We have started to decorate penises.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
