No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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