I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize