you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
