Kiss
Puke
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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