I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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