Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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