This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
