Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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