OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
