No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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