Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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