i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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