when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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