I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
