Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
