Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We left the knife in your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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