She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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