they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
