If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
