Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize