i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
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You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?