ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
