People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
