remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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