So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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