I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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