So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you never un-have a 4some
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
