Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
