don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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