she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
