Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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