still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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