Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
