How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
