I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
