Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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