weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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