I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
