Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
