I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
