i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
