I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
