I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize