People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
