Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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