oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
