Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
