And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
