margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
