I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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