She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
