I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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