worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.