Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.