Jerry, you need to find god
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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