So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
