nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
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Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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