she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
