Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
