I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
